---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Zen Habits
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 2009 01:37:51 +0000
Subject: zen habits: The Habit Change Cheatsheet: 29 Ways to
Successfully Ingrain a Behavior
To:
JOHN@johnjrose.com Zen Habits
///////////////////////////////////////////
The Habit Change Cheatsheet: 29 Ways to Successfully Ingrain a Behavior
Posted: 28 Sep 2009 04:33 PM PDT
http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/zenhabits/~3/uz-fJqCclC4/ We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
- Aristotle
Our daily lives are often a series of habits played out through the day, a
trammeled existence fettered by the slow accretion of our previous actions.
But habits can be changed, as difficult as that may seem sometimes.
Im a living example: in tiny, almost infinitesimal steps, Ive changed a
laundry list of habits. Quit smoking, stopped impulse spending, got out of
debt, began running and waking early and eating healthier and becoming
frugal and simplifying my life and becoming organized and focused and
productive, ran three marathons and a couple of triathlons, started a few
successful blogs, eliminated my debt you get the picture.
Its possible.
And while Ive written about habit change many times over the course of the
life of Zen Habits, today I thought Id put the best tips all together in
one cheatsheet, for those new to the blog and for those who could use the
reminders.
Keep it simple
Habit change is not that complicated. While the tips below will seem
overwhelming, theres really only a few things you need to know. Everything
else is just helping these to become reality.
The simple steps of habit change:
1. Write down your plan.
2. Identify your triggers and replacement habits.
3. Focus on doing the replacement habits every single time the triggers
happen, for about 30 days.
Thats it. Well talk more about each of these steps, and much more, in the
cheatsheet below.
The Habit Change Cheatsheet
The following is a compilation of tips to help you change a habit. Dont be
overwhelmed always remember the simple steps above. The rest are different
ways to help you become more successful in your habit change.
1. Do just one habit at a time. Extremely important. Habit change is
difficult, even with just one habit. If you do more than one habit at a
time, youre setting yourself up for failure. Keep it simple, allow yourself
to focus, and give yourself the best chance for success. Btw, this is why
New Years resolutions often fail people try to tackle more than one change
at a time.
2. Start small. The smaller the better, because habit change is difficult,
and trying to take on too much is a recipe for disaster. Want to exercise?
Start with just 5-10 minutes. Want to wake up earlier? Try just 10 minutes
earlier for now. Or consider half habits.
3. Do a 30-day Challenge. In my experience, it takes about 30 days to
change a habit, if youre focused and consistent. This is a round number and
will vary from person to person and habit to habit. Often youll read a
magical 21 days to change a habit, but this is a myth with no evidence.
Seriously try to find the evidence from a scientific study for this. A
more recent study shows that 66 days is a better number (read more). But 30
days is a good number to get you started. Your challenge: stick with a
habit every day for 30 days, and post your daily progress updates to a
forum.
4. Write it down. Just saying youre going to change the habit is not enough
of a commitment. You need to actually write it down, on paper. Write what
habit youre going to change.
5. Make a plan. While youre writing, also write down a plan. This will
ensure youre really prepared. The plan should include your reasons
(motivations) for changing, obstacles, triggers, support buddies, and other
ways youre going to make this a success. More on each of these below.
6. Know your motivations, and be sure theyre strong. Write them down in
your plan. You have to be very clear why youre doing this, and the benefits
of doing it need to be clear in your head. If youre just doing it for
vanity, while that can be a good motivator, its not usually enough. We need
something stronger. For me, I quit smoking for my wife and kids. I made a
promise to them. I knew if I didnt smoke, not only would they be without a
husband and father, but theyd be more likely to smoke themselves (my wife
was a smoker and quit with me).
7. Dont start right away. In your plan, write down a start date. Maybe a
week or two from the date you start writing out the plan. When you start
right away (like today), you are not giving the plan the seriousness it
deserves. When you have a Quit Date or Start Date, it gives that date an
air of significance. Tell everyone about your quit date (or start date).
Put it up on your wall or computer desktop. Make this a Big Day. It builds
up anticipation and excitement, and helps you to prepare.
8. Write down all your obstacles. If youve tried this habit change before
(odds are you have), youve likely failed. Reflect on those failures, and
figure out what stopped you from succeeding. Write down every obstacle
thats happened to you, and others that are likely to happen. Then write
down how you plan to overcome them. Thats the key: write down your solution
before the obstacles arrive, so youre prepared.
9. Identify your triggers. What situations trigger your current habit? For
the smoking habit, for example, triggers might include waking in the
morning, having coffee, drinking alcohol, stressful meetings, going out
with friends, driving, etc. Most habits have multiple triggers. Identify
all of them and write them in your plan.
10. For every single trigger, identify a positive habit you’re going to do
instead. When you first wake in the morning, instead of smoking, what will
you do? What about when you get stressed? When you go out with friends?
Some positive habits could include: exercise, meditation, deep breathing,
organizing, decluttering, and more.
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but
coaxed downstairs a step at a time. - Mark Twain
11. Plan a support system. Who will you turn to when you have a strong
urge? Write these people into your plan. Support forums online are a great
tool as well I used a smoking cessation forum on about.com when I quit
smoking, and it really helped. Dont underestimate the power of support its
really important.
12. Ask for help. Get your family and friends and co-workers to support
you. Ask them for their help, and let them know how important this is. Find
an AA group in your area. Join online forums where people are trying to
quit. When you have really strong urges or a really difficult time, call on
your support network for help. Don’t smoke a cigarette, for example,
without posting to your online quit forum. Don’t have a drop of alcohol
before calling your AA buddy.
13. Become aware of self-talk. You talk to yourself, in your head, all the
time but often were not aware of these thoughts. Start listening. These
thoughts can derail any habit change, any goal. Often theyre negative: I
cant do this. This is too difficult. Why am I putting myself through this?
How bad is this for me anyway? Im not strong enough. I dont have enough
discipline. I suck. Its important to know youre doing this.
14. Stay positive. You will have negative thoughts — the important thing is
to realize when you’re having them, and push them out of your head. Squash
them like a bug! Then replace them with a positive thought. “I can do this!
If Leo can do it, so can I!” :)
15. Have strategies to defeat the urge. Urges are going to come theyre
inevitable, and theyre strong. But theyre also temporary, and beatable.
Urges usually last about a minute or two, and they come in waves of varying
strength. You just need to ride out the wave, and the urge will go away.
Some strategies for making it through the urge: deep breathing,
self-massage, eat some frozen grapes, take a walk, exercise, drink a glass
of water, call a support buddy, post on a support forum.
16. Prepare for the sabotagers. There will always be people who are
negative, who try to get you to do your old habit. Be ready for them.
Confront them, and be direct: you dont need them to try to sabotage you,
you need their support, and if they cant support you then you dont want to
be around them.
17. Talk to yourself. Be your own cheerleader, give yourself pep talks,
repeat your mantra (below), and dont be afraid to seem crazy to others.
Well see whos crazy when youve changed your habit and theyre still lazy,
unhealthy slobs!
18. Have a mantra. For quitting smoking, mine was Not One Puff Ever (I
didnt make this up, but it worked more on this below). When I wanted to
quit my day job, it was Liberate Yourself. This is just a way to remind
yourself of what youre trying to do.
19. Use visualization. This is powerful. Vividly picture, in your head,
successfully changing your habit. Visualize doing your new habit after each
trigger, overcoming urges, and what it will look like when youre done. This
seems new-agey, but it really works.
20. Have rewards. Regular ones. You might see these as bribes, but actually
theyre just positive feedback. Put these into your plan, along with the
milestones at which youll receive them.
21. Take it one urge at a time. Often were told to take it one day at a
time which is good advice but really its one urge at a time. Just make it
through this urge.
22. Not One Puff Ever (in other words, no exceptions). This seems harsh,
but its a necessity: when youre trying to break the bonds between an old
habit and a trigger, and form a new bond between the trigger and a new
habit, you need to be really consistent. You cant do it sometimes, or there
will be no new bond, or at least it will take a really really long time to
form. So, at least for the first 30 days (and preferably 60), you need to
have no exceptions. Each time a trigger happens, you need to do the new
habit and not the old one. No exceptions, or youll have a backslide. If you
do mess up, regroup, learn from your mistake, plan for your success, and
try again (see the last item on this list).
23. Get rest. Being tired leaves us vulnerable to relapse. Get a lot of
rest so you can have the energy to overcome urges.
24. Drink lots of water. Similar to the item above, being dehydrated leaves
us open to failure. Stay hydrated!
25. Renew your commitment often. Remind yourself of your commitment hourly,
and at the beginning and end of each day. Read your plan. Celebrate your
success. Prepare yourself for obstacles and urges.
26. Set up public accountability. Blog about it, post on a forum, email
your commitment and daily progress to friend and family, post a chart up at
your office, write a column for your local newspaper (I did this when I ran
my first marathon). When we make it public not just the commitment but the
progress updates we dont want to fail.
27. Engineer it so its hard to fail. Create a groove thats harder to get
out of than to stay in: increase positive feedback for sticking with the
habit, and increase negative feedback for not doing the habit. Read more on
this method.
28. Avoid some situations where you normally do your old habit, at least
for awhile, to make it a bit easier on yourself. If you normally drink when
you go out with friends, consider not going out for a little while. If you
normally go outside your office with co-workers to smoke, avoid going out
with them. This applies to any bad habit — whether it be eating junk food
or doing drugs, there are some situations you can avoid that are especially
difficult for someone trying to change a bad habit. Realize, though, that
when you go back to those situations, you will still get the old urges, and
when that happens you should be prepared.
29. If you fail, figure out what went wrong, plan for it, and try again.
Dont let failure and guilt stop you. Theyre just obstacles, but they can be
overcome. In fact, if you learn from each failure, they become stepping
stones to your success. Regroup. Let go of guilt. Learn. Plan. And get back
on that horse.
Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after
your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. - Benjamin Franklin
Further reading:
Autopilot Achievement: How to Turn Your Goals Into Habits
Engineer Life: Set Up Habit Changes So It’s Hard to Fail
How to Establish New Habits the No-Sweat Way
13 Things to Avoid When Changing Habits
7 Little Habits That Can Change Your Life, and How to Form Them
If you like this post, Id love it if you shared or bookmarked it via
Delicious, StumbleUpon or Twitter! Thanks, my friends.
Posted via email from jrosegslimo's posterous
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